Stay At Home Mom

Last few years, like many, my world was flipped upside down.

Life as we knew it was forever changed. Nothing about it was easy, planned or anything we would willingly choose for ourselves and family. But here we are.

True convictions, beliefs, values were put through the ultimate test(s). Character, integrity, growth, endurance, determination, perseverance...true grit were all formed, in the harshest of circumstances.

Here, we still stand more convicted than ever. 

For me, it's been a time of entering a new phase or season of life. I was rocked to my core and there is nothing I would change.

We sold our house and downsized, living a minimal life, we experienced how to survive and get by with both of us unemployed, we choose to continue homeschooling our children, learned how to can, preserve food, grow medicine, experience community and how to be more self sufficient. This journey is ongoing always more to learn and strive for.

I'm incredibly thankful for the detour my life took as I wholeheartedly believe this is exactly where I was meant to be. Where my family is supposed to. Might not be the path I originally saw us on, but definitely the path that is right for us.

I've quieted down on social media and events. Reserving energy for what matters right now and that's these two boys and my husband. 

They were so forgiving the past couple years as I travelled, spoke out, went to different events and rallies and was consumed with zoom meetings. I kept saying I was doing it for the children, for my kids, but eventually it hit me. How can I say I'm fighting for my kids when I'm not available for when they need me most right now? 

Since the fall I made the conscious point of recognizing my new role. Stay-at-home-mom. A role I once looked down on, because society told us it wasn't good enough, we had to do and be more to be of worth. It was time to break this old programming and recognize the sacredness of being home, the immense responsibility that it is as well as a gift. 

I first had to accept this role into my heart, before I could honour it and act in it. Lots of old programming to dismantle, to unlearn these old belief systems and create new ones. This part hasn't been easy. Some of them run deep. This is the real work where new paths are created, new futures and ways of life. This is where it begins, in the home, and this is where I had to turn my "fight."

I've noticed a difference within myself, within our home, our boys and even our relationship as husband and wife. I'm seeing the fruit of this work and it gives me so much hope! I'm still very aware of what is going on in the world. Which is why it was even more important to turn inward, to lay the foundation, to dive deeper into the word and faith, to create a stronghold that will not come down. I'm seeing this in many homes and in the community. These strong family foundations that will not be broken, and this is how we win and get through what's to come. Inner conviction, strong homes and connected communities.

So here I am; becoming stronger within myself, loving my boys, teaching them, being there for them and creating a home built on solid rock, rooted in faith.

This comes with tears, yelling, anger, doubt, comparison, judgement and fights. It's not all bliss, joy and love. It's raw, real, vulnerable and constant learning curves. But with grace, mercy, compassion and forgiveness. We'll continue to learn and forge forward together, whatever comes our way, we'll be ready. 

So many gifts have come from the last few years if we're willing to embrace them and see the beauty that still exists around us.

Magna deserunt nostrud.

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