Why I Resigned
This picture was taken March 2020 - early on in the “pandemic” declaration - when masks became daily attire, along with goggles and scrub caps, when the theatrics began, and virtue signaling took on a whole new meaning.
I was miserable in this picture. I knew it was a lie and it was killing my soul. I’d say it was the beginning of the end for me, but really it started well before that moment, that was just the catalyst I needed to make a change.
Our nursing union spent years fighting for us to not have to wear a mask during "flu season" if we did not receive an annual flu shot. Our unions finally won - proving that masks were discriminatory and did not stop transmission of viruses. But here we were - forgetting the years we had fought for this decision, forgetting science and succumbing to fear. I hadn’t forgotten. I was not going to let fear take over - I learned this lesson already with injections and Logan. I let fear win and said yes to shots I wasn't comfortable with. I promised myself I'd never let fear win again. Plus, I’ve never been one to go along with something that just doesn’t make sense and goes against all logical thinking. Nothing what was happening in 2020 felt right, I sensed it to my core.
I began to feel ostracized, bullied and isolated at work, partially by my own doing as I couldn’t relate to the conversations happening and no one wanted to hear my thoughts on the matter.
This wasn’t the first time I felt this way. As I began to question the medical establishment I became used to feeling this way, the treatment received from colleagues and the distant relationships.
I became a nurse to help people, to make a difference in one’s life, to do good (the salary, ability to travel, and steady employment with benefits were all very nice perks). I love learning and soaked in all the information that was taught to us, trusting in it, believing in it, embodying it.
Until my first son redirected my path and I enrolled at the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition. It was here that I learned about true health and wellness and actually healing. Health was so easy! Why weren’t we teaching this? Why weren’t we being taught any of this in nursing school? Why wasn’t anyone in the medical community talking about this!?
We are here to help people to provide actual care, to make a difference. It no longer began to look that way. The more I began to question, the more pushback I received. This is not what I signed up for.
My soul was being crushed, but I didn’t know what to do. I kept showing up and loving my patients, the parents, the relationships I was making. While at home trying to educate and bring awareness about true health to anyone willing and wanting to listen.
When I’m passionate about something I dive full in, completely consumed in more knowledge! I don’t do anything halfway.
The veil had been lifted and nursing no longer was what it once was to me when I started. I tried to start up other businesses, dabbled in entrepreneurship and looked for other options. At the end of the day I was captive to the steady pay, flexible shifts and 14 yrs of knowing the job. Change can be hard.
2020 came and this was it. My line in the sand. I could not participate in such a massive lie on so many levels that was causing immense harm to those around me. Aren’t we supposed to speak up for the vulnerable? Protect the public? Follow the 4 core ethical principles of nursing; autonomy, beneficence, justice, and non-maleficence. What is happening here? Why are 6 year olds trying to comitt suicide?
The hardest part was staying silent. Speaking the truth was easy. The consequences that came from that were immense and still ongoing currently, but also a huge blessing. It led to a suspension, internal investigation with the College of Nurses and eventually my termination. All bridges had been burned. God made sure there was no turning back for me. I had asked to exit for years, this just wasn’t how I imagined it. He knew I wasn’t strong enough in my flesh and made sure there was no option of returning. He had other plans for me.
January 2023 I finally resigned my license with the College of Nurses of Ontario. I could no longer hold on to something that screamed corruption. They preach having the public’s best interest in mind, but have done everything to harm the public the last three years. Nothing has been based on science or evidence, but instead following $$. The regulatory bodies want everyone to fall in line, to follow a pharmaceutical based model and do not want people stepping out into sovereignty, becoming their own experts or look into natural healing. Remember only Drs can “heal, treat and cure'' they OWN these words!
I resigned because I could no longer pay the same organization that was prosecuting me for doing my job and standing in truth. I could no longer be a part of something that has harmed so many and continues to do so. I could no longer be a part of something that has no desire to change, that only sees things one way - drugs, drugs, surgery and more drugs.
I could no longer be a part of something that didn’t see value in a person’s life, that didn’t see them as divine, energetic beings but only skin, bones and profit.
This decision was not easy, as I felt like I was giving up from the “fight.” But I realized it wasn’t giving up at all. It was walking away from an abusive relationship. Regaining my power and saying enough! I don’t need you anymore! I’m off to do bigger and better things without you! It was in essence the opposite of giving up, but instead turning my back to walk forward in faith. To do the work I was meant to do here, to lead by example in my own learning and healing journey’s, to educate and inform, to unlearn the indoctrination and create a better way forward for our children, the next generation.
This is what I was meant to do here. Create new. Walking in Faith. Actual true health and wellness. Inspiring others to become their own experts over their lives. To show that you can make a difference and take the road less traveled. There is another way and we don’t need to remain with our abusers, we can walk away from years of schooling, years of experience and a familiar career. We will always carry that knowledge and wisdom with us, we will always be nurses in our hearts. We will be ok, we will find something else - and truthfully - it’s going to be so much better than anything we ever knew before.
Resigning my license was the biggest relief and weight off my shoulders. There is nothing holding me back now from truly being unabashedly, unapologetically, myself. There is only truth, that I will walk in. Nothing can hold me back from doing the work that needs to be done, and specifically for me, right now, this means helping women reclaim their sacred role as nurturers, caretakers, homemakers and life creators. Bringing new life force naturally into this world! There’s lots of work to be done and I’m finally free to do it in all its glorious fullness! So excited for what is to come. You can't change the system from within, you make a better one!
Happy Nurses week because nurse or former nurse the core of what that means can never be taken from us. They can have their RN I'll still always have my BScN.